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17 Annoying Things Foreigners Need To Get Right About India

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Nobody. Speaks. Hindu.

Calling a drink "chai tea" is like us calling steak "beef meat".

Calling a drink "chai tea" is like us calling steak "beef meat".

Star TV / Via desimartini.com

Naan is another word for bread – so "naan bread" means bread bread.

Naan is another word for bread – so "naan bread" means bread bread.

Why?

Eros International / Via desimartini.com

You're spelling "Gandhi" wrong.

You're spelling "Gandhi" wrong.

(And "ghandi" sounds a lot like the Hindi word for "dirty" so STOP rn.)

Tips Industries

Nobody speaks Hindu. Just like nobody speaks Christian or Muslim or Buddhist.

Nobody speaks Hindu. Just like nobody speaks Christian or Muslim or Buddhist.

You mean Hindi.

Via gosswoss.com


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Indians React To Indian Stereotypes

13 Horrible, Inappropriate Puns Only Indians Are Allowed To Laugh At

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What kind of chai do Indian women never get to have?

Wanna stop being single?

That could be arranged.

Wanna stop being single?

Arbaaz Khan Productions

Why are Indian doctors so good at fixing fractures?

They believe in the cast system.

Why are Indian doctors so good at fixing fractures?

FOX

Which era is the Times Of India stuck in?

The Cleave-Age.

Which era is the Times Of India stuck in?

Red Chillies

Who's Bruce Lee's regressive desi cousin?

Fairandlove Lee.

Who's Bruce Lee's regressive desi cousin?

Garnier


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19 Unique Problems Every Indian Girl Suddenly Has In The Summer

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DON’T EVEN BOTHER PUTTING ON KAJAL.

Let's just come out and say it. Underboob sweat is the single least pleasant thing about the next 3 months.

Let's just come out and say it. Underboob sweat is the single least pleasant thing about the next 3 months.

CTV

But summer is also hell for a billion other reasons. For instance: kajal smudging.

But summer is also hell for a billion other reasons. For instance: kajal smudging.

Sivaji Productions

Actually there's no point putting on any makeup whatsoever. Just sleep for an extra 7 minutes.

Actually there's no point putting on any makeup whatsoever. Just sleep for an extra 7 minutes.

You will sweat it ALL off within five minutes of leaving your house.

UTV Motion Pictures

Get used to being damp all the time and your face constantly glistening.

Get used to being damp all the time and your face constantly glistening.

Yash Raj Films


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A Sincere, Heartfelt Thank You For All The Memes That Narendra Modi Has Given Us So Far

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And to think we’ve got four whole years of memery left. #AchheDin indeed.

A year ago, the world watched on in awe as a former chaiwala won history's largest democratic election with a staggeringly huge margin of victory.

A year ago, the world watched on in awe as a former chaiwala won history's largest democratic election with a staggeringly huge margin of victory.

reddit.com

And, in the year since, India's incorrigibly creative netizens have documented his every move via one globally transcendent language...

And, in the year since, India's incorrigibly creative netizens have documented his every move via one globally transcendent language...

BuzzFeed India

Memes.

Memes.

Via bhavinionline.com

It all began with a brilliantly rhyme-able campaign slogan that, in an instant, took over all our timelines.

It all began with a brilliantly rhyme-able campaign slogan that, in an instant, took over all our timelines.

Via saddahaq.com


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Nargis Fakhri's New Boyfriend Is Literally A Piece Of Shit

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WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING. WHATEVER IT IS, IT’S AMAZING.

Soooo, this maniacal love story began a couple of months ago, when Nargis Fakhri told us all in an Instagram video that a friend of hers had gotten her a present.

Soooo, this maniacal love story began a couple of months ago, when Nargis Fakhri told us all in an Instagram video that a friend of hers had gotten her a present.

Nargis Fakhri / Via Instagram: @nagrilove

She then GLEEFULLY revealed that the present was a giant stuffed poop emoji.

She then GLEEFULLY revealed that the present was a giant stuffed poop emoji.

And it was love at first sight.

And it was love at first sight.

Nargis Fakhri / Via Instagram: @nagrilove

Immediately, the regal turd – often referred to as Mr. Fecal – began accompanying her everywhere.

instagram.com


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Watch 100 Years Of Indian Beauty In Less Than Two Minutes

18 Photos The World Needs To See To Understand How Beautiful India Really Is


16 Times Bollywood's Ladies Proved They're Just Like The Rest Of Us

22 Honest Reasons Summer Is A Nightmare If You Have Big Boobs

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Hey there, boob sweat.

Because the entire concept of swimsuits was not designed with us in mind.

Because the entire concept of swimsuits was not designed with us in mind.

Interscope Records

Because buying a bikini top and bottom of the same size is completely impossible.

Because buying a bikini top and bottom of the same size is completely impossible.

I feel you, Johnny.

Cartoon Network

And because even if we find the right size, it would take magic for our boobs to be lifted up by a flimsy swimsuit.

And because even if we find the right size, it would take magic for our boobs to be lifted up by a flimsy swimsuit.

Oney Cartoons / Via youtube.com

Because underboob sweat-stains are horrifying, uncontrollable works of modern art.

Because underboob sweat-stains are horrifying, uncontrollable works of modern art.

CTV


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SRK Movie Posters Remade With His 2-Year-Old Son Are Both Adorable And Terrifying

One Reason This Generation Of Indians Will Have Severe Trust Issues Forever

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Shortest list ever.

Do you feel like you can't trust anyone? Do you feel like everyone you love will let you down? Here's why:

Do you feel like you can't trust anyone? Do you feel like everyone you love will let you down? Here's why:

When someone says "2 minutes!" do you just assume they mean around 6? This is the reason:

When someone says "2 minutes!" do you just assume they mean around 6? This is the reason:

idiva.com

Do you sometimes not trust your mom's ideas? IT'S BECAUSE MAGGI TRICKED OUR MOMS TOO.

Do you sometimes not trust your mom's ideas? IT'S BECAUSE MAGGI TRICKED OUR MOMS TOO.

Do you often get a lingering sense that the things you love most are the worst for you? Mmhm.

instagram.com


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14 Photos That Prove Karan Johar Has The Most Expressive Face In The World

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Think of the most complex emotions you’ve ever felt – K. Jo understands.

Getty Images

Strdel / Getty Images

Hindustan Times / Getty Images

Str / Getty Images


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If Your Parents Are Immigrants, This Poem About English Will Put A Lump In Your Throat

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“How dare you mock your mother when she opens her mouth and broken English spills out?”

One of the most difficult aspects of being a child of immigrants is having a different accent and a different first language than your parents do.

One of the most difficult aspects of being a child of immigrants is having a different accent and a different first language than your parents do.

Rupi Kaur / Via youtube.com

A month ago, for Mother's Day, poet Rupi Kaur – an American daughter of Indian parents – released a poem celebrating the beauty in that dissonance.

A month ago, for Mother's Day, poet Rupi Kaur – an American daughter of Indian parents – released a poem celebrating the beauty in that dissonance.

Rupi Kaur / Via rupikaur.com

And thanking her parents for their sacrifices.

And thanking her parents for their sacrifices.

Rupi Kaur / Via youtube.com

Without further ado, "Broken English" by Rupi Kaur:

See more of Rupi's work on her blog here.

youtube.com


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Dear Moms Who Fed Us Maggi Growing Up, Stop Feeling Guilty, It's OK

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Send this to your ma – she needs it.

Nestlé

Mama, I know there's already a lot of guilt attached to being a mother. I know you constantly ask yourself if you did enough, if you spent enough time, if you sacrificed enough (yes, yes, and way too much, by the way). I know that everyone from your mother-in-law to your colleagues has given you several hours worth of unsolicited advice about how to raise me. And I know you've overheard snarky comments about, I don't know, letting me spend too much time online or how much weight I've put on lately or how, chhi chhi, your kids chose to study English instead of business.

And, to add it to it all, I guilted you, too. I guilted you for waking me up too early, conveniently forgetting that you'd been up for an hour already. I guilted you for sending me to the same classes that now, as an adult, I'm so glad to have taken. I guilted you every morning for leaving me and going to work; I didn't know then, sobbing in the doorway, that you were doing it for me.

I know you live in a world where everyone insists on comparing your kids' accomplishments with those of your sisters' and your neighbours' and I know that despite your exhaustion, you've remained my staunchest cheerleader. I know that, to this day, you find ways to blame yourself for my bad days and, even when I'm thousands of miles away, you can't fall asleep until I've WhatsApped you saying I'm home safe.

Mummy, I know that mainstream pop culture has made some unreasonable demands of you, what with Jaya Bachchan having a beta-sensor that tells her when her kids are within a hundred-metre radius and a teary-eyed Darsheel Safary having convinced us that you're some infallible, all-knowing demigoddess.

Let's be real for a second – tujhe sab kaise pata ho sakta hai, ma? You're only human after all, ma.

Dharma Productions

And Indian advertisers really didn't make it easy for you either, did they? Week after week, they raised the bar that determined your adequacy as a mother. Are your kids friendless because their clothes aren't white enough? Is the wrong kind of diaper ruining your baby's butt forever and will the wrong face-cream leave your daughter husbandless until the end of days? Is their morning wala milk making them "taller, sharper, stronger"?

Are they failing tests because you fed them the wrong cereal and are they losing races because you failed to shove chyawanprash down their throats in the five minutes you had free all day? Are the neighbourhood children ostracising yours because the paint on your house is peeling? Is there – god forbid – no salt in their toothpaste?

So when a product came along that advertised a way to make your kids' days with just two minutes of effort, of course you took the bait. Who the heck wouldn't? Toss in a picture-perfect model-mom dancing around a pristine kitchen to the slogan "taste bhi, health bhi" and there you have it: finally, in a country that makes it so damn hard, here was an easy way to be a good mother.

And you know what? It worked. It made my day, every single time. First things first, it was (and, unfortunately, still is) delicious. And, more importantly, it made your horrendously difficult life easy for a second.


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If You Are Attracted To Arnab Goswami And Don't Know How To Feel About It, This Is For You

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The nation wants to ;) ;) ;)

This is Arnab Goswami, our national treasure, and if you feel ~feelings~ for him, you've probably been shamed for it.

This is Arnab Goswami, our national treasure, and if you feel ~feelings~ for him, you've probably been shamed for it.

Times Now

I'm here today to carry out an important public service. I'm here to say: It's OK. Don't be ashamed. Look at this man.

I'm here today to carry out an important public service. I'm here to say: It's OK. Don't be ashamed. Look at this man.

Times Now

Here he is, running through his studio just like he runs through your mind.

Here he is, running through his studio just like he runs through your mind.

Times Now

And here he is, asking some tough questions, while you ask yourself, "WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?!?/!11"

And here he is, asking some tough questions, while you ask yourself, "WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?!?/!11"

Times Now


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11 Times India's Stand-Up Comedians Got Too Damn Real

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You brave, brave souls.

When Neeti Palta broke down what makes India special.

When Neeti Palta broke down what makes India special.

Neeti Palta / Via youtube.com

When ex-journalist Rohan Joshi used this self-burn to diss all of Indian media.

When ex-journalist Rohan Joshi used this self-burn to diss all of Indian media.

Being Indian / Via youtube.com

When Sapan Verma poked fun at our ban-happy government.

When Sapan Verma poked fun at our ban-happy government.

East India Comedy / Via youtube.com

When Daniel Fernandes called out India for not criminalising marital rape.

When Daniel Fernandes called out India for not criminalising marital rape.

Daniel Fernandes / Via youtube.com


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Watch This Hilarious Video Of Russell Brand Showing Off His India-Inspired Tattoos

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HE’S COMING TO INDIA. *spends entire salary on tickets*

Russell Brand has loved India for a long time and, later this month, he's finally performing here.

View Video ›

"I love India very much," he said. "I am excited to be coming to the country [where] I have so many happy memories. Plus I got married there."

Facebook: video.php

He proves his love for the des by showing off his tattoos of Sanskrit phrases and Hindu gods.

He proves his love for the des by showing off his tattoos of Sanskrit phrases and Hindu gods.

Love you too, Russell.

Brand is headlining LIVE Viacom18's Comedy Central Chuckle Festival later this month.

Brand is headlining LIVE Viacom18's Comedy Central Chuckle Festival later this month.

He's performing in Delhi on June 26th, Bangalore on June 27th, and Mumbai on June 28th.

Via manips--galore.tumblr.com

Cannot wait.

Cannot wait.

NBC


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I Moved To Mumbai A Year Ago, Here Are 12 Things I've Learned Since

16 People Who Need Their Internet Access Taken Away Immediately

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